finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
