What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
