She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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