S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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