Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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