I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
