Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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