Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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