YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
