38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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