You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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