You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
