I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize