I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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