R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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