ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
