Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
