dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So here I am, sexting at work.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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