I think I won the penis lottery.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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