New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
