Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
