is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
