you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
