I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
