: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
