Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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