You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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