...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
