4 words: hood of his car
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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