apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
