Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
