Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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