so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need a beard to bite.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
