do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize