I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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