So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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