:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
