Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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