So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
