i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
