I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
