i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
