i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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