Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
