My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
