WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
