how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
