you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
