In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
