just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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