I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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