I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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