shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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