Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he fucked my hip out of place.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
