i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
