Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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