just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
