she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
