This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
