This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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