Moan for me like Helen Keller
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
